Computer Simulation
by ChronicallyinFlaming
Summary: Written for the dragonkinkmeme. Bulma doesn't like the way Vegeta is screwing her so she makes him watch her with Goku. Doctor Brief branches out into the programming field. Very light M. Bulma/Vegeta. One-Shot.


Bulma doesn't like the way Vegeta is screwing her so she makes him watch her with Goku.

The fill:

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><p>As soon as he saw she was waiting for him, he threw himself back through the doors he'd just entered, rolling into the hallway and leaping to his feet in search of a window. His breathe rasped in his throat, not from the exertion, but the fear. Unfortunately, there were no windows this deep underground.<p>

Before he could kick his way through the wall, she was upon him.

"Vegeta!"

"Woman!"

Only one of their voices had any authority to it, only was without fear. Only one would win.

"Get your ass back in here!"

As soon as he turned to ran at the wall, she literally jumped onto his back and clung.

"You. Will. Come. Inside."

"Off me."

"Never. You saw me without my clothes on. Now you must pay the price."

"What price?" Vegeta asked.

"You'll see." Her tone remained dark, and in the walls so clean they were reflective, he could see the shadows growing on her face and in her eyes. "This is what I do to all the people that see me naked. Yamcha, Goku, nurses, my doctors, my parents…"

"What? 'Goku'?" While another of him went 'ohhh.' Now so much involving the scarred human fell into place. Now so much of the human's interactions made sense.

"Okay. Maybe not everyone I put through this. Not exactly like this. To be fair. I only put Yamcha through this."

"Oh god."

She slid off him, hands wrapped around the gold shoulder straps of his armor and pulling him down with her. "Come on. I have something to show you."

"Isn't that what got me into this mess in the first place?"

"I'm glad you're acknowledging what happened. First step towards acceptance as my boyfriend."

"I am not your mate. You got me drunk—

"Tipsy."

"And took advantage of my weakened state."

"Oh, please. All you'd had is an Appletini. Or two."

"There were at least five of those drinks-"

"Come on! I have something to show you. This is important. Perhaps the most important thing in the world for you to know."

Immediately, as he was led clench-jawed into the room, he knew he'd made a terrible mistake. Blank screens gaped at him, some huge enough to fill a single wall, others small enough to fit into his hands. The woman was typing into a keyboard, the noise bringing back memories of Freiza's weak men always pecking at their computer as the birds in the old man's gardens did their feed.

"Now, see, Vegeta…oh, come sit down."

Gingerly, the Saiyan finally managed to unbend his stiff knees enough to land on the large leather couch in the middle of the room. He nearly slid right off it.

"Get relax."

Icy pains shot into his spine.

She was smiling. "Get comfy."

Nothing good could come of this.

"Now, watch this."

Then his eyes were assaulted with the screens being lit and playing the image of Kakarotte and the woman. It burned into his corneas and brain, searing into his memory. He slipped a little further off the couch.

Then he realized that the Saiyan's voice was off, moving out of sync with the movement of his mouth. And how fuzzy it all was, and how their outlines were indistinct. Bulma was kicking the rectangular box beneath her feet, cursing.

"What is this? What is this, woman!"

"Damn you, Dad. How can you make a car that can go underwater and fly, and yet can't make a computer that plays a damn movie?"

"It's a '_movie'_! What does _that mean_?"

"Vegeta?" The female looked up curiously from her newly bruised feet. "Are you crying?"

"No! I'm not! It just…hurts my eyes."

"…sure. Fff, it's not real. Stop _weepin_g."

The palms of his gloves were wet from being shoved into his eye socket and grinding against bone. "I do not weep!"

"Anyway. This is for you."

"For me?"

"Yeah. I wanted you to see it."

Vegeta gazed at her, eyes bloodshot and more desperately like a hurt child than when he'd been a child handed off to a monster. "Why?"

"To teach you." Her eyes were oddly gleaming. "You're so cute when you're sad."

"So you did this to punish me? No wonder the scarred weakling left you."

"I broke up. _With. Him_!"

"No one believes you, woman."

"Shut up! Troll. But, moving on, I didn't set out to hurt you. That was just an added benefit. I didn't think you cared, what with your sad, weird attempt to get us back together." She hit some button to play a brief segment of the 'movie.' The scene of her wrapping an arm around his neck to pull him down further literally hurt Vegeta's eyes. Then she paused it just as Kakarotte's own hands went down to cup her buttocks. Acid churned in his stomach.

"Really though, those love letters? Too far, Vegeta. That was so creepy. Why so many? And how could you write s_o much _about Yamcha?"

Vegeta ignored that, "His woman will kill you for this. I want to kill you for this."

"Oh, please. No one got hurt." She hit a button on the keyboard to continue playing the rest. A knob was turned, and then there was the sound of talking, slapping, moaning, chewing being thrown through the room. Only the barest scrap of dignity remained at the moment to keep him from holding his ears. It probably wouldn't have helped anyway.

"Look. Look at the screen, Vegeta!"

"No! Gods, what's wrong with you? "

"Come on, it's not even real."

"What?"

"I didn't sleep with Goku! I mean. Okay, I did. But it was platonic."

"What?"

"I mean, he was only like, twelve."

"What?"

She gave up. "See, what he's doing with his hands?"

"Ugh. Yes."

"That's what I want you to do."

"I…right now?"

"Hm? Oh, sure."

"And you want me to do _that_ as well?"

"Oh _yeeaaah_."

"And…you won't hit me with a lamp like you did last time?"

"No, now I'll know its coming. Oh. Look at him go."

"What possessed you to make this? How did you even make it? It's not real? How is it not real? Isn't not just a poor quality video, like the ones your mother makes?"

"All computer generated." Bulma beamed. "Latest stuff. You can design anyone's face and body onto it. It's going to fly off the shelves."

"Are you claiming someone would buy this?"

"Isn't it awesome?"

"…did you say you can put anyone on it?"

"Yyuuuuup."

"Anyone?"

She smiled, a lovely thing as slow and sweet as honey. The blue, blue eyes shaped so similar to Saiyans while the vivid light shade was not were half-lidded. Her words were a delightful purr, just as it had sounded after he'd refilled his tiny glass with the sour-sweet liquid only to look up at her face, and more importantly, the udders she displayed so brazenly. 'Hey. _Veggie_.' So proud. Again, like a Saiyan might show off his muscles and strength as he reigned down fire and hell to another weak species that didn't deserve to exist. Which was almost exactly what he'd told her, and how she'd shaken her head in disgust only to throw herself onto his lap and cause them both to fall from the bar.

"Vegeta?"

The Saiyan couldn't keep himself from responding, just as he had that night. "Mm?"

"Wanna put your little fighter friends—"

"They are not my 'friends.'"

"They so are. If you had a barbecue, they would be the ones you'd invite. But. You wanna put them into the computer? And pair them up in weird ways."

Vegeta smiled, a reluctant one, but one nonetheless. "Uh-huh."

Bulma clapped her hands. "Awesome. Who first?"

"Kakarotte."

"And?"

"The three-eyed one. No. The Namek. No. The shrimp."

Bulma laughed and hit the appropriate buttons. Then she ran to his side, jumping on and nearly sliding off the couch in her haste to join him. When he tried to help her up, he too nearly slipped off, and together they cursed the fabric. Together, eventually, they managed to sit together, nearly holding each other to make sure they didn't fall off and looked up to laugh and watch two of the greatest fighters, two men who had died to protect the earth, sodomizing each other in grainy film.

"Yeah, take it like a man, big guy."

"Look at how stupid they look."

She laughed and when he kissed her, she didn't break a lamp over his head.


End file.
